Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Thinking about the past

Today for no particular reason I decided to go through some old emails to try to remember how was my life at a different point on time.
First of all, sometimes I even surprise myself... I've done things that I shouldn't have done, and I have let some other people do things that they shouldn't. I'm also impressed that things that once upon a time caused me great pain and suffering are no longer causing it, it's a weird mix of feelings but overall I think most wounds are healed.
Second, I think I don't regret anything of what I've done. This seems like a contradiction given the first point, but it is not. I realize that I've done things that I shouldn't have done, but it is also true that if I haven't done them I wouldn't have learned. It is also true that if I haven't been hurt by others, I wouldn't have learned either, so that's why I do not regret any of my past actions.
Third, I'm a very drastic person. After going through some emails, I realized that I'm either black or white, but never gray. It's kinda scary, because sometimes it might be better to be less confrontational, but ... what could I do? I realized that I've tried to be more "gray" but it never worked and in the end the reason why most people get close to me is non other that me being so damn drastic.
Fourth, I should be saying "I'm sorry" to so many people... but I don't feel like it. I only say "I'm sorry" when I mean it, and if I haven't said "I'm sorry" to you is because I don't mean it, so I still think that I took the right decision no matter what happened between you and me. Yes, you might say that the last statement is selfish and you can call me anyway you like, but I still won't say "I'm sorry".
Fifth, I have never exchanged recipes by email... so I think I need to start doing that. Given that I love to cook, and sometimes I even cook just for the fun of it (my coworkers are really happy about that because whenever I feel like cooking and have the time to do it, I bring something to work), I think I need to start exchanging recipes or maybe even uploading some recipes here. Well, if anybody is interested just let me know.
Now that I read everything I wrote I think I was needing this post, I had a lot of things to say.

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